Top 5 Crazy Magic Items for DND 5e & How to Create Your Own

In the vast and wondrous realms of Dungeons & Dragons, magic items are the spice that adds flavor to any adventure. While +1 swords and rings of protection certainly have their place, it’s the utterly bonkers, laugh-out-loud, “did that really just happen?” items that create the most memorable moments at the gaming table.

Today, we’re diving headfirst into the wild and wacky world of D&D’s craziest magic items. These aren’t your grandma’s enchanted knick-knacks – unless, of course, your grandma is a chaotic neutral wizardess with a penchant for magical pranks. In that case, tell her we said hi and ask if she’ll adopt us.

But we’re not just here to gawk at the insanity dreamt up by the mages at Wizards of the Coast. By the end of this article, you’ll be armed with the tools to craft your own brand of magical mayhem. So strap in, hold onto your wizard hats, and let’s dive into the wonderful world of wacky magic items!

Top 5 Craziest Magic Items

Here’s our list of crazy magic items and their effects!

1. The Bag of Beans

Official Description

A heavy cloth bag containing 3d4 dry beans. The bag weighs 1/2 pound plus 1/4 pound for each bean it contains.

What It Actually Does

Imagine if Jack and the Beanstalk had a love child with a random encounter table, and you’re getting close to the madness that is the Bag of Beans. Each seemingly innocuous bean, when planted in dirt and doused with at least a cup of water, erupts into a 5-foot-radius, 30-foot-high column of violent energy. When the energy dissipates, the real fun begins.

Possible Outcomes

• A fruit tree sprouts, bearing 1d6+6 delicious magical fruits
• A geyser erupts, spewing gems and hot water
• A treant (because who doesn’t want an angry tree creature stomping around?)
• A statue of a creature that comes to life when someone touches it
• An aggressive, hostile monster (CR 3-7) appears, ready to throw down

Why It’s Crazy

The Bag of Beans is the ultimate “roll the dice and see what happens” item. It’s like playing magical Russian roulette, except instead of bullets, you’re dealing with the possibility of summoning a creature that wants to redecorate your face. It’s the perfect item for those moments when your party is bored and you think to yourself, “You know what this situation needs? CHAOS.”

Crazy Factor: 8/10 – You never know if you’re getting a snack, starting a fight, or creating a landmark.

Fun Fact

The Bag of Beans has been causing mayhem in D&D games since at least 1979 when it appeared in the first edition Dungeon Master’s Guide. It’s like the magical equivalent of that one friend who always says, “Hey, watch this!” right before things go spectacularly wrong.

Pro Tip for DMs

Keep a list of random encounters, NPCs, and environmental hazards handy. When a player inevitably says, “I plant all the beans at once,” you’ll be prepared for the glorious chaos that ensues.

Pro Tip for Players

Always, always plant these beans when the party is in a town or city. Nothing spices up diplomatic negotiations quite like an angry treant bursting through the floor of the duke’s palace.

2. Wand of Wonder

This wand has 7 charges. While holding it, you can use an action to expend 1 of its charges and choose a target within 120 feet of you. The target can be a creature, an object, or a point in space. Roll d100 and consult the following table to discover what happens.

What It Actually Does

The Wand of Wonder is like if you took a magical slot machine, turned it into a stick, and gave it the power to alter reality. It’s the embodiment of the phrase “I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.” Every time you use it, you’re basically telling the universe, “Surprise me!”

Possible Effects

• Summon 600 large butterflies that flap around for 2 minutes
• Shrink the target to half its size
• Make the target glow bright blue for 1d10 days
• A spectral shield hovers near the target for 1 minute, granting a +2 bonus to AC
• The target turns into a potted plant until the start of your next turn
• 1d6 flumphs (yes, those adorable floating jellyfish creatures) appear in unoccupied spaces within 60 feet of the target

Why It’s Crazy

The Wand of Wonder is the magical equivalent of closing your eyes, mashing all the buttons, and hoping for the best. It’s perfect for the wizard who wakes up every morning and thinks, “You know what? I’m feeling lucky.” It’s also great for DMs who enjoy watching their players squirm as they realize they have absolutely no control over what’s about to happen.

Crazy Factor: 9/10 – Could summon butterflies or a rhinoceros. Use at your own risk!

Fun Fact

The Wand of Wonder has been a staple of D&D since the game’s early days, appearing in the original Greyhawk supplement in 1975. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of magic items, if that knife had a 50/50 chance of turning into a fish every time you opened it.

Pro Tip for DMs

Keep the effects of the Wand of Wonder secret from your players. Let them discover its unpredictable nature through use. It’s much more fun when they don’t know if they’re about to solve all their problems or turn the party’s fighter into a potted fern.

Pro Tip for Players

Use this wand when your party is in a “nothing left to lose” situation. Sure, you might make things worse, but there’s also a chance you’ll summon just the right magical effect to save the day. Plus, win or lose, it’ll make for a great story later at the tavern.

3. Cloak of Displacement

While you wear this cloak, it projects an illusion that makes you appear to be standing in a place near your actual location, causing any creature to have disadvantage on attack rolls against you. If you take damage, the property ceases to function until the start of your next turn.

What It Actually Does

Imagine having a personal hologram that makes you look like you’re standing slightly to the left of where you actually are. Now imagine that hologram is powered by magic and attached to a fabulous cloak. That’s the Cloak of Displacement in a nutshell. It’s like having your own personal body double, except this one is incorporeal and terrible at karaoke.

How It Works

• Projects an illusion of you about 6 inches away from your actual position
• Gives attackers disadvantage because they’re swinging at your magical decoy
• Stops working if you get hit (because apparently, magic holograms are drama queens)

Why It’s Crazy

The Cloak of Displacement is the magical equivalent of that friend who always bobs and weaves during conversations. It’s perfect for the rogue who wants to add an extra layer of “you can’t touch this” to their repertoire, or for the wizard who’s tired of being a glass cannon and wants to be a slightly more durable glass cannon.

Crazy Factor: 7/10 – Confuse your enemies and your friends! Great for parties and combat alike.

Fun Fact

The concept of displacement in D&D was inspired by the displacer beast, a panther-like creature with tentacles that always appears to be about 3 feet from its actual position. So, wearing this cloak is essentially cosplaying as a tentacle-less, significantly less terrifying version of a displacer beast.

Pro Tip for DMs

Describe the wearer’s displaced image in creative ways. Maybe it mimics the wearer’s actions a split second too late, or perhaps it occasionally glitches like a faulty hologram. It’s a great opportunity to add some visual flair to your combat descriptions.

Pro Tip for Players

Combine this with other illusion magic for maximum confusion. There’s nothing quite like the look on a DM’s face when you tell them you’re casting Mirror Image while wearing a Cloak of Displacement. Just be prepared for them to throw their dice at you (don’t worry, they’ll probably miss).

4. Deck of Many Things

This deck contains a number of cards made of ivory or vellum. Most (75 percent) of these decks have only thirteen cards, but the rest have twenty-two. Before you draw a card, you must declare how many cards you intend to draw and then draw them randomly.

What It Actually Does

The Deck of Many Things is like playing Russian Roulette with the fabric of reality. It’s a stack of cards that can instantly grant you a castle, rob you of your soul, or erase you from existence entirely. It’s the magical equivalent of going to Las Vegas, putting your life savings on red, and then realizing the roulette wheel also has positions for “gain superpowers” and “fight the devil.”

Possible Effects

• Gain 50,000 XP
• Lose all your worldly possessions
• Gain a keep (castle) and some land
• Lose 1d4+1 Intelligence points
• Gain a wish spell
• Your soul is trapped in an object in a place of the DM’s choice
• A powerful devil becomes your enemy
• Avoid any situation of your choice… once

Why It’s Crazy

The Deck of Many Things is the ultimate plot device/wrench/nuclear option in D&D. It’s perfect for DMs who want to throw their carefully planned campaign into glorious chaos, or for players who think, “You know what this character arc needs? A 50% chance of godlike power or total annihilation!”

Crazy Factor: 10/10 – Campaign-altering consequences in every draw. May cause TPKs, betrayals, or impromptu godhood.

Fun Fact

The Deck of Many Things has been causing mayhem in D&D since the game’s earliest days. It’s appeared in every edition of the game, always maintaining its reputation as the most chaotic and potentially campaign-destroying item in the game. It’s like the magical equivalent of Pandora’s Box, if Pandora’s Box also sometimes gave you a castle.

Pro Tip for DMs

Only introduce this item if you’re prepared for your campaign to go off the rails. The Deck of Many Things can radically alter character power levels, introduce new plot elements, or even end the campaign on the spot. Use with extreme caution (or extreme recklessness, depending on your DMing style).

Pro Tip for Players

Drawing from the Deck of Many Things is never a good idea… which is exactly why you should do it. Just make sure you’ve got backup character sheets ready, and maybe write a quick will for your current character. Remember, in D&D, “hold my beer and watch this” moments are what legends are made of.

5. Alchemy Jug

This ceramic jug appears to be able to hold a gallon of liquid and weighs 12 pounds whether full or empty. Sloshing sounds can be heard from within the jug when it is shaken, even if the jug is empty.

What It Actually Does

The Alchemy Jug is like having a magical bartender in your backpack, except this bartender has a very strange menu. It can produce various liquids on command, from basic water and wine to more… interesting options. It’s the Swiss Army Knife of beverages, if that knife could also produce mayonnaise for some reason.

Possible Liquids (Amount per Day)

• Acid (8 ounces)
• Basic poison (1/2 ounce)
• Beer (4 gallons)
• Honey (1 gallon)
• Mayonnaise (2 gallons)
• Oil (1 quart)
• Vinegar (2 gallons)
• Water, fresh (8 gallons)
• Water, salt (12 gallons)
• Wine (1 gallon)

Why It’s Crazy

The Alchemy Jug is the magical equivalent of that one friend who always has exactly what you need… as long as what you need is two gallons of mayonnaise. It’s perfect for the adventurer who wants to be prepared for every situation, from impromptu picnics to aggressive condiment warfare.

Crazy Factor: 6/10 – Practical, yet absurd. Perfect for sandwich emergencies and unconventional problem-solving.

Fun Fact

The inclusion of mayonnaise as one of the producible liquids has sparked countless debates and memes in the D&D community. It’s led to players finding increasingly creative uses for mayo, from lubricating stuck doors to creating impromptu slip-and-slides. It’s like the D&D designers said, “You know what every adventurer needs? More mayo.”

Pro Tip for DMs

Don’t underestimate the creative potential of the Alchemy Jug. Players will find ways to use these liquids that you never imagined. Be prepared for mayonnaise-based solutions to your carefully crafted puzzles.

Pro Tip for Players

Remember, the Alchemy Jug can produce some liquids that are actually useful in combat, like acid and oil. But also remember that if your solution to every problem becomes “apply mayonnaise,” you might want to rethink your problem-solving strategies… or lean into it and become the world’s first Mayo Mage.

Create Your Own Crazy Magic Item Effects

Now that we’ve explored some of the wackiest magic items D&D has to offer, it’s time to unleash your inner mad enchanter and create some magical mayhem of your own! Who knows, maybe your creation will be the next legendary item to drive players and DMs alike into fits of laughter and/or existential dread.

How to Use These Tables

1. Roll a d20 for each table (or just pick your favorites, we won’t tell).
2. Combine the results into one gloriously chaotic magic item.
3. Unleash your creation upon an unsuspecting party and watch the fireworks!

Table 1: Item Type (d20)

1. Wand
2. Ring
3. Amulet
4. Boots
5. Hat
6. Gloves
7. Belt
8. Cloak
9. Spectacles
10. Bracers
11. Earrings
12. Necklace
13. Vest
14. Sword
15. Shield
16. Staff
17. Orb
18. Gauntlet
19. Helm
20. Tome

Table 2: Primary Effect (d20)

1. Transforms user into random creature
2. Creates illusions of user’s thoughts
3. Reverses gravity in 10ft radius
4. Causes user to speak in rhymes
5. Summons miniature orchestra
6. Makes user irresistibly charming to plants
7. Turns any liquid into soup
8. Creates duplicate of user that does opposite actions
9. Teleports user 5 feet in random direction every minute
10. Allows user to understand animals (but not speak to them)
11. Makes user’s voice sound like a different famous person each day
12. Creates small rain cloud that follows user
13. Turns user’s skin a random color each dawn
14. Allows user to see 10 seconds into the future (but can’t change it)
15. Makes user immune to fall damage (by turning them into a puddle on impact)
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16. Grants user proficiency in a random skill each day
17. Causes user to float when they sneeze
18. Turns user’s tears into marbles
19. Allows user to phase through walls (clothes don’t come with)
20. Makes user always know the exact time, but in a random time zone

Table 3: Side Effect (d20)

1. User’s hair changes color hourly
2. Emits loud snoring sounds when inactive
3. Attracts nearby small objects
4. Makes user float 1 inch off the ground
5. Causes user to smell like fresh-baked bread
6. User leaves trail of glitter
7. User hiccups bubbles instead of air
8. Food user touches turns to other random (edible) food
9. User’s shadow acts independently
10. User’s footsteps sound like random musical instruments
11. Small objects occasionally fall out of user’s pockets (that weren’t there before)
12. User’s reflection is always wearing a party hat
13. Plants rapidly grow and bloom in user’s footsteps
14. User’s voice echoes slightly, even in open spaces
15. User becomes slightly translucent in moonlight
16. User’s eyes glow in the dark (and they can’t turn it off)
17. User’s hair grows 1 inch every hour (and changes style randomly)
18. User occasionally levitates while sleeping
19. User’s spoken lies manifest as small illusory butterflies
20. User’s mood is visible as a colored aura

Example Creation

Let’s say you roll a 5 on Table 1, a 12 on Table 2, and a 16 on Table 3. You’d end up with:

The Hat of Melodious Prophecy

This peculiar headpiece makes the wearer’s voice sound like a different famous person each day, while causing their eyes to glow in the dark (and they can’t turn it off). Perfect for the adventurer who’s always wanted to deliver cryptic warnings in the voice of their favorite celebrity, while doubling as a handy nightlight!

Imagine the party’s face when their normally soft-spoken wizard suddenly starts spouting prophecies in the booming voice of a renowned opera singer, all while their eyes illuminate the dungeon like twin beacons. Who needs torches when you have the Hat of Melodious Prophecy?

Pro Tips for Magic Item Creation

1. Embrace the Chaos: The best crazy magic items are those that create unexpected situations. Don’t be afraid to get weird!
2. Balance is Overrated: Unlike standard magic items, these aren’t meant to be perfectly balanced. That’s part of the fun!
3. Encourage Creativity: Design items that prompt players to think outside the box. The more uses they can find for that hat that turns everything into cheese, the better.
4. Consider the Narrative: Even silly items can drive the plot. Maybe that banana-summoning staff is the key to saving a starving village… or appeasing a very specific monkey god.
5. When in Doubt, Add More Effects: Can’t decide between two effects? Use both! The more, the merrier (and crazier).

Remember, in the world of magic items, there’s no such thing as too bizarre. Now go forth and enchant with gleeful abandon!